Acknowledgment – better than praise
We all have a natural longing for positive feedback. Actually, there could be more of it. Could it get too much? One thing is for sure: Acknowledging is better than praising. Why is this the case and how does work?
A subtle distinction
We don´t want praise. Actually no. We want acknowledgement. Praise hovers down from above. Acknowledgement happens at eye level. Praise is sweeping, acknowledgement concrete and attentive. Praise aims at an object or an action, whereas acknowledgement addresses the person.
Praise makes you dependant, acknowledgement empowers and strengthens.
Ac-know-ledging: to know something, someone, to see, wanting to understand better. To accept with respect. To observe without judgement. To perceive with appreciation.
By praising we utter (perhaps even casually): „Well done!” or just “Super!”
While acknowledging we convey, for example: „ I read your text. I had to laugh quite a bit – that one example with the woman in the tower was highly interesting for me. I guess, it required a lot of research. How long did it take you to come up with the text? Are you satisfied with the result? I benefitted immensely and will be able to use some of it in my work.”
The ingredients
Attentive, appreciative feedback acknowledges. It contains the following:
- Attentive, appreciative feedback acknowledges. It contains the following:
- What the other side evoked in me emotionally (joy, surprise…)
- A question, conveying interest
- A question referring to the self-assessment of the other side
- General appreciation
Concrete and attentive feedback is constructive and authentic. The other party can benefit from it.
Essential Factor Respect
Acknowledgement conveys respect, ie belief in the other´s own power of judgement. It takes the opposite number seriously, generates a feeling of being important, being right at this very moment – to „exist“ in the widest sense, to be “allowed to exist“: thus an archetypical human need is being fulfilled.
Recognition can be short at times: „Beautiful colours, you depict lots of detail in that picture!” (concrete, referring to the object/matter) Do you also like it? (my feeling of respect of the other´s own judgement)“. Or just as a compliment:
„These colours suit you perfectly!“ (concrete, referral to the person)
Let´s have more of this!
Acknowledgment, recognition and compliments are not yet an integral part of our culture. Much too often we seem to be afraid of missing out by overdoing it, if we explicitly let the other ”be” or even “shine” . At the same time we forget that recognition, if conveyed only in seemingly banal contexts, can add a spark of celebration to everyday life. Those little joys add a magical touch to our daily encouters.
And last not least so it does for those who actively practice recognition! As we know, giving away contributes to our own happiness. And very often we receive something in return.
It is a big mistake to believe that too much recognition will spoil the other side or have a negative effect. On the contrary – most people benefit immensely from this form of recognition, specifically regarding positive self-perception and development.
Authentic acknowledgement motivates, sometimes even to accomplish something great. Let´s give away recognition lavishly!
And if all this became a habit? Unthinkable!
